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View Old Guestbook (7/2002 to 10/2005)- coming soon!
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Spoken to TKE congregation on Friday, May 30, 2003 The sign at our neighborhood entrance reads “Congratulations Graduating Class of 2003”. All 7 graduates of Pope High School are listed. Next to our daughter’s name reads “In Memory of Kimberly Andrews”. Kimberly didn’t graduate with her class on May 24, 2003. Nor did she go to her senior prom on May 16th or celebrate her 18th birthday on May 12th. Kimberly died in a tragic car accident on June 12, 2002 at 8:41 p.m. A parent’s worst nightmare began for us around 11:50 p.m. that evening. You see, we didn’t see the evening news. Our son, Tyler was playing baseball at Kennesaw’s Adams Park. The game started at 8 and was over at 10. We got home around 11. As Jay and I cheered our youngest son on to victory and Joshua cheered his brother on, our oldest, their big sister was riding up I-575 in an SUV that flipped, hit 3 trees and killed Kimberly and a friend. Kimberly’s car had broken down. She got into another car. The news reports initially said she wasn’t wearing a seatbelt. The impact caused her seat to break, which threw her out of the seat, seatbelt still intact. At 11:50 that evening, a friend of Kimberly’s called crying, asking if we had heard from her – there had been an accident and one of their friends was dead. We jumped out of bed, threw clothes on, grabbed our two sleeping boys and headed out – where were we going, where was the accident, what do we do? Jay got in touch with the police, told them our story, gave them our name, address and number. They told us to go home – someone would call us. At around 12:45 am, Jay called back the Canton Police because we couldn’t find our daughter at either hospital that the kids had been taken. They told him an officer was on his way to our house – at that moment, for the first time, it hit me that Kimberly was dead! Joshua prayed aloud to God, “please God, Kimberly is strong – I don’t care if she has to be in a wheelchair – please God, make her be alright”. Tyler sat quietly staring into space. We waited in stunned silence, for what seemed to be an eternity. We saw a police car drive up at 1:15 am. We opened the front door and the 4 of us stepped outside. The policeman asked if the boys could run next door and get one of our neighbors. He didn’t want us to be alone. We asked him to please come inside. I will never forget his words – “Your daughter was in an accident, she didn’t suffer, she died instantly”. I thought I was going to throw up. From that moment until today, I feel like the world is going on without me. The policeman called our neighbor, every one of our siblings, Jay’s mother. Suddenly, our house was full of people – our neighbors, our closest friends, our family. One of our neighbors called the Rabbi – I don’t know how she got the number. All I know is that at 3 am our house was filled with people. The Rabbi apologized for taking so long to get there – he had been stopped and ticketed for speeding. He gathered us in a circle for a prayer. Lists were made of people to call. There was a steady stream of people from that moment on. I don’t remember much. I do remember hugging Jay and saying “Marriages don’t last that lose children”. I don’t know why that came to mind. Jay, his brother and my brother went to make funeral arrangements. Jay couldn’t go in. That afternoon, my brother took me aside and told me that the funeral home “strongly recommended” I not see Kimberly. I knew then that whichever decision I made, would affect me forever. My head knew that I was given good advice; my heart will regret it forever. The funeral is a blur. Somehow Jay, my sister and I got up and spoke about Kimberly. We said goodbye. Tyler’s words made everyone break down – “Kimberly was very nice and I wish she could come back”. Joshua sat quietly staring into space. I still see some of the faces from the funeral. Rabbi Lebow commented that there was a thousand people there. I had no idea there were so many people behind me. Kimberly had a way with people, adults and kids alike. The letters we received after her death from people Jay and I didn’t know were amazing. It has been almost a year since Kimberly died. I still wake up in the morning and the reality of her not coming home hits me like a brick. Sleep, when we can, is the only escape from this nightmare. Everyone says the 1st year is the hardest because of all of the “firsts”. But when does the “firsts” really end? In 2 years Josh & Tyler will be Bar Mitzvahed together – Kimberly won’t be there. Every wrestling tournament, every baseball game, every tennis match, every school activity – she won’t be there to cheer them on. Holidays will never be the same. Her friends will go to college, graduate, get married, have children – each event will make us wonder what should have been. When Josh & Tyler start driving – will I be able to handle them getting in cars with friends? Josh will now be our first child to graduate from high school. The firsts never seem to end. The pain of losing a child is like no other – you lose their future. People don’t know what to say – so they either don’t say anything or just avoid us. They also don’t understand how this has changed us – we will never be the same. You never want anyone to forget your child. As time goes by, that is your fear. The children’s memorial garden is a beautiful tribute to all children who died before reaching adulthood. It’s planning has been both a source of comfort and a healing mechanism. It has helped us not feel so alone. For Josh & Tyler, it will be a place to go to remember their sister. They now know other children just like them. You know, when you are 10 & 12, the last thing you want is to be different. Unfortunately, as time goes by, this club that no one wants to join will grow. Your contributions will make this beautiful garden a reality and hopefully give us all some comfort and peace. Thank you for listening to our story and helping us keep our children’s memories alive. |